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Five months after the sudden death of Kara, we are dealing with the after-shock of this tragedy in our lives.
On January 16th there were five messages on our answering machine from various agencies and government offices
in South Africa and the State Department in Washington DC, stating that they were trying to get in contact with
Mr. or Mrs. Hood. I feared that Kara had been in an accident and was in a hospital, until the last message more
bluntly stated that they were trying to contact next of kin. And so our lives have been turned upside down since
that terrible news, as we find ourselves living a parent's worst nightmare...the death of a child. We have been
blessed with a wonderful and loving family, and four great children. We still have four great children; only one
of them is in heaven, waiting for us. We have known and mourned for parents who have had children die, and we now
know that you cannot even imagine the pain and sadness until you are faced with it yourself. The death of a child
is the most painful and difficult experience imaginable.
Kara's high school yearbook quote is "If not now, what then? We all must live our lives, always feeling, always
thinking; the moment has arrived." And a Bible verse she had next to her bed is from Proverbs: "Trust in
the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct
your path." Kara's short life of almost 24 years was an inspiration for many. We hope that her memory continues
to be an inspiration to you, as it is for us. We are still trying to process her death and her absence from our lives.
Chris and our loving daughter-in-law Michelle have blessed us with a grandson, Aidan, who is a source of joy during this
difficult time. The last picture we have of Kara is her holding her nephew Aidan. She left a poem about him on her desk
in Brooklyn, written just before she left for South Africa.
The enormous out-pouring of love and compassion shown to us has been a comfort, and yet in the end you grieve alone.
Grieving is hard work--it is physically and emotionally draining--and there is no one right way to do it. We are
learning much about the process, and yet we are only beginning the lifelong journey of adjusting to life without Kara
on this earth. But there is the hope of a new spiritual relationship with Kara, and we are grateful for our faith that
encourages us to believe in and to hope for a reunion with Kara in eternity. I don't believe you ever fully recover
from grief: memories cause less heartache and more joy, life events take on a different perspective, and faith increases…as
does love and compassion. But healing comes only with the suffering of fully experiencing the loss of our daughter. And
the scar never goes away. When Kara died, a part of me died as well. And in losing part of myself, I feel I have lost
part of my future. The present time is more precious to me and our family is all that matters. I see life as a miracle
and a gift from God, and what we do with life is our gift back to God.
In the future I will share more from the books and thoughts I have about grieving. Thanks for caring.
Bob Hood
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