Kara Hood

Message No. 3 of 3

gift giving

Most people, no matter what age, love birthdays and holidays where you get to enjoy the gift of gift-giving…or come on now, relish in the act of receiving. Not Kara though. Kara feared this act, no matter what end of it she was on. She dreaded having to find someone a gift and having no idea where to begin. Worse yet for her was receiving. It was a true nightmare for her to imagine herself standing in front of the “giver” and opening the gift to find it be something she didn’t like. She knew in her blotchy-faced flustered state that she’d never be able to feign having wanted just this particular gift her entire life! Our birthdays were one month to the day apart from each other. Often this resulted in some sort of a joint celebration…or better yet, one for each of us and then a joint one! This gave me the opportunity to witness Kara in the midst of various gift exchanges. Even while studying abroad we still managed to celebrate our birthdays together – for the most part. Kara flew into Rome the day of my 21st to join her family who was there to visit Jason. I couldn’t have scripted a more perfect way to celebrate my 21st to be out at a bar in the middle of Rome and run outside to meet Kara jumping out of a cab. I wasn’t able celebrate my birthday with my family that year but I would have never given up what I received in exchange, celebrating it with Kara’s family. A little over a month later I flew to Spain. I missed the actual date of her 21st….but in no time at all we made up for that...and then some! Celebrating, rather than commemorating the day with gifts, was definitely what mattered most to Kara…and being with her made it matter most to you too. One evening early last winter Kara and I were out making a futile attempt to shop. We were definitely at the point where we were ready to drop when all of the sudden Kara gasps – realizing in that moment that twelve hours from then she’d be on a plane to Rochester. The next morning, bright and early, she was off to little Aidan’s christening. Not that she hadn’t been looking forward to that day for weeks to come, however, purchasing a gift in honor of this day never seemed to factor its way into her thoughts. I joined her in trying to solve the dilemma at hand but soon enough it became evident to Kara what she should do. She decided to purchase him a CD. I was definitely perplexed as to why she would buy a CD for an infant. But being perplexed by Kara was the nature of life. She explained to me that music nurtures the soul and as Aidan’s Aunt that was just was she was supposed to do in anyway she knew how. This was to be only the beginning for Aunt Kara. The Christmas before last we started, what has since become a tradition amongst all the Trin-Trin girls here in New York, a Secret Santa gift exchange. We gather at one of our apartments for a holiday feast and bring along a gift that we exchange at some point in the night. With Kara’s work schedule she barely had anytime to think about fearing the gift exchange last year. Instead I received my expected last minute phone call from her on her way – late, without a gift, and of course slightly lost. I reminded her of the lesson a wise friend once told me – “music nurtures the soul” so grab a CD. A few minutes later an out of breath Kara was knocking on the door, with a wrapped CD in hand. This year much has changed. We all struggled with whether or not it was appropriate to do our gift exchange again – or whether or not we even wanted to. In the end, we decided we must…more than anything this year we just wanted to be together. Yet, there’s no denying that this is a very different year, a drastically different Christmas. It’s missing Kara. For us, it’s also in a city recovering from the tremendous, devastating destruction that cost the lives of thousands of our neighbors and more of our loved ones. It seemed our obligation to continue on with our “tradition” but it would be a mistake not to acknowledge that nothing now seems traditional, nothing is quite like it once was and for the most part the normality we once knew no longer exist. When I heard about the North Pole project that the post office puts forth I thought it was a perfect way to do the extra something that we all should be taking part in this year and an especially perfect way to honor Kara. The post office collects all of the Dear Santa letters that they receive throughout the year. As Christmas approaches they allow the public to come and sort through them and select those letters containing wishes that they would like to attempt to fulfill. What I appreciated most about the concept is that it remains completely anonymous – both the giver and the recipient – what gift exchange could be more perfect for Kara? I had planned to pick up seven different letters for us as a group to pool our money together and buy gifts for. It seemed destined when one of the first letters that I picked up out of the overflowing bins was from a single mother… of 7. So we went forth with our tradition. We held our gift exchange. We missed Kara…her expected late arrival, her last minute gift in tote, the holiday cheer beaming from her eyes, the Christmas carol under her breath as she bounced around the room – maybe throwing a little Running Man out there to spice things up - and her red, blotchy face even amidst us as she opened her Secret Santa Gift. We hope that in honoring Kara by participating in the North Pole project that we were able to bring Christmas to one struggling family this year. Actually, right here in Brooklyn. Secretly I imagined that maybe this family had met Kara once before. Maybe on one of her door-to-door campaigns they were one of the families that befriended her and invited her in. If not, now without knowing her they share a part of her – as we all do – her gift for giving. Merry Christmas Kara.

Vanessa Ruff

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gift giving
	Most people, no matter what age, love birthdays and holidays where you get to enjoy the gift of gift-giving…or come on now, relish in the act of receiving. Not Kara though. Kara feared this act, no matter what end of it she was on. She dreaded having to find someone a gift and having no idea where to begin. Worse yet for her was receiving. It was a true nightmare for her to imagine herself standing in front of the “giver” and opening the gift to find it be something she didn’t like. She knew in her blotchy-faced flustered state that she’d never be able to feign having wanted just this particular gift her entire life! Our birthdays were one month to the day apart from each other. Often this resulted in some sort of a joint celebration…or better yet, one for each of us and then a joint one! This gave me the opportunity to witness Kara in the midst of various gift exchanges. Even while studying abroad we still managed to celebrate our birthdays together – for the most part. Kara flew into Rome the day of my 21st to join her family who was there to visit Jason. I couldn’t have scripted a more perfect way to celebrate my 21st to be out at a bar in the middle of Rome and run outside to meet Kara jumping out of a cab. I wasn’t able celebrate my birthday with my family that year but I would have never given up what I received in exchange, celebrating it with Kara’s family. A little over a month later I flew to Spain. I missed the actual date of her 21st….but in no time at all we made up for that...and then some! Celebrating, rather than commemorating the day with gifts, was definitely what mattered most to Kara…and being with her made it matter most to you too. One evening early last winter Kara and I were out making a futile attempt to shop. We were definitely at the point where we were ready to drop when all of the sudden Kara gasps – realizing in that moment that twelve hours from then she’d be on a plane to Rochester. The next morning, bright and early, she was off to little Aidan’s christening. Not that she hadn’t been looking forward to that day for weeks to come, however, purchasing a gift in honor of this day never seemed to factor its way into her thoughts. I joined her in trying to solve the dilemma at hand but soon enough it became evident to Kara what she should do. She decided to purchase him a CD. I was definitely perplexed as to why she would buy a CD for an infant. But being perplexed by Kara was the nature of life. She explained to me that music nurtures the soul and as Aidan’s Aunt that was just was she was supposed to do in anyway she knew how. This was to be only the beginning for Aunt Kara. The Christmas before last we started, what has since become a tradition amongst all the Trin-Trin girls here in New York, a Secret Santa gift exchange. We gather at one of our apartments for a holiday feast and bring along a gift that we exchange at some point in the night. With Kara’s work schedule she barely had anytime to think about fearing the gift exchange last year. Instead I received my expected last minute phone call from her on her way – late, without a gift, and of course slightly lost. I reminded her of the lesson a wise friend once told me – “music nurtures the soul” so grab a CD. A few minutes later an out of breath Kara was knocking on the door, with a wrapped CD in hand. This year much has changed. We all struggled with whether or not it was appropriate to do our gift exchange again – or whether or not we even wanted to. In the end, we decided we must…more than anything this year we just wanted to be together. Yet, there’s no denying that this is a very different year, a drastically different Christmas. It’s missing Kara. For us, it’s also in a city recovering from the tremendous, devastating destruction that cost the lives of thousands of our neighbors and more of our loved ones. It seemed our obligation to continue on with our “tradition” but it would be a mistake not to acknowledge that nothing now seems traditional, nothing is quite like it once was and for the most part the normality we once knew no longer exist. When I heard about the North Pole project that the post office puts forth I thought it was a perfect way to do the extra something that we all should be taking part in this year and an especially perfect way to honor Kara. The post office collects all of the Dear Santa letters that they receive throughout the year. As Christmas approaches they allow the public to come and sort through them and select those letters containing wishes that they would like to attempt to fulfill. What I appreciated most about the concept is that it remains completely anonymous – both the giver and the recipient – what gift exchange could be more perfect for Kara? I had planned to pick up seven different letters for us as a group to pool our money together and buy gifts for. It seemed destined when one of the first letters that I picked up out of the overflowing bins was from a single mother… of 7. So we went forth with our tradition. We held our gift exchange. We missed Kara…her expected late arrival, her last minute gift in tote, the holiday cheer beaming from her eyes, the Christmas carol under her breath as she bounced around the room – maybe throwing a little Running Man out there to spice things up - and her red, blotchy face even amidst us as she opened her Secret Santa Gift. We hope that in honoring Kara by participating in the North Pole project that we were able to bring Christmas to one struggling family this year. Actually, right here in Brooklyn. Secretly I imagined that maybe this family had met Kara once before. Maybe on one of her door-to-door campaigns they were one of the families that befriended her and invited her in. If not, now without knowing her they share a part of her – as we all do – her gift for giving. Merry Christmas Kara.
	Vanessa Ruff